Nursing Bra Burning

Wow.  I am so overwhelmed and blessed by the amazing response to my last post.  Thank you so much for the comments, e-mails, tweets, and texts showing your support.  It makes me think... we must all be in this whole "mommy-hood" thing together, right?


Speaking of which...  It amazed me at how many of you "let down your hair", and shared stories with me about your struggles trying to be good mothers. 


 A good friend of mine (and fellow mama) and I had a good talk about how being a perfectionist and being a mother do not mix.  We talked about how we felt the pressure to appear like "super moms" on the outside, but inwardly we were just hanging on for survival.  Here is why I think we do that... When you have a child, everything changes; yourself, your body, your marriage, your friendships...  Nothing stays the same.  It is SO easy to become SO wrapped up in your child, that you begin to find your identity in being a mom.  From the outside looking in, since we give our lives so much to our children, I think we crave the recognition from other mama's saying "Wow, you are great/look great at what you do!"  Everyone wants to be super mom, right?  I read a blog once about how women start to find their identity in what they do as mothers (i.e. baby wear, sleep train or co-sleep, give birth with or without medication).  We all have opinions and strong feelings on parenting, and of course we think "our way" is the best, and only way to parent.  And let's be honest... when someone else goes against our way of parenting, sometimes we can snub our noses at them, and pat ourselves on the back for being "more selfless" to our child(ren).    


Seriously... what a load of crap.  


And then there is blogging.  Us mom bloggers want to appear like the super stylish super mom, that never breaks a sweat, or misses a beat with parenting.  I am guilty of that.  I am guilty of that beyond blogging, even.  I have found myself not even visiting some of my favorite blogs lately because these moms appear too "put together", and it makes me feel bad about myself.  (And there could be that blog jealousy/competition issue, too... Just being honest.)  Okay, well I can't speak for everyone, but I can speak for myself and say I have struggled with these issues.  


I received a couple e-mails/comments this week that completely left me speechless.  Other mama's shared how they struggled, or are currently struggling with depression, and the feeling of the inability to keep up with being a "super mom."  These truly beautiful women left me in awe of their vulnerability; their courage to reach out and share their story in order to help strengthen another mama in need of encouragement.  (Thank you to these wonderful women.)


This really made me think... Do I want to continue to blog in a way that when other women read my blog they leave thinking, "wow, she's got her act together..."  Or do I want to blog in a way that shows a vulnerability that says, "I will not even begin to act like I have it all together, but here is what I am learning..."  Do I want people to think I am "cool", or do I want to share my heart, and maybe just maybe, help someone who is going through the same issue?  


Now, none of this is to say that it is wrong to share your opinions on parenting, show off your amazing style, or record the happy moments of your life through your blog.  Of course, we must be wary not to share everything personal in front of thousands of people whom we don't know.  I love clothes, and will continue to write an occasional fashion post.  But, I also want you to know that 5 days of the week I live in yoga pants and my husband's t-shirts.  I love healthy eating, and I hope to inspire others around me to eat healthy, as well... But I do not eat perfectly.  I have a really bad weakness to chocolate at late hours of the night.  


I think what bothers me the most in the blogging or "real" life world among mama's is when we decide to set the standard about mothering and parenting, and turn our noses up.  For instance, I am all about breastfeeding.  I think it's great.  But, I know some women who don't, or can't breastfeed for various reasons.  Guess what?  That doesn't make them any less of a good mother.  Their babies are healthy, happy, and thriving GREAT... Just as well as my breastfed baby.  Let's remember, ladies, that our identity as mothers DOES NOT lay within whether we breastfeed or use formula... Or whatever the issue at hand may be.  Only in Jesus can we truly find our identity.  Let's have grace for one another, and encourage each other.  Let's rejoice in each others strengths, but never use them as a standard for motherhood.


So, here is my public apology... to my friends, to my readers, and to whom ever else I have tried to look perfect to.  I am not a perfect mother.  I struggle with the best of them.  And I am sorry if I have ever made any other mother feel less then great.  The fact that any mama is doing her best, is a monumental accomplishment.


So, other mom bloggers, and moms without blogs... Can we just all join together and start this "nursing bra burning?"  Haha.  This is no feminist movement, but rather a movement that empowers other mama's to feel the support of another by becoming vulnerable and full of compassion.  Can we go ahead and admit to not being a "perfect mom blogger?"  


I AM NOT A PERFECT MOM BLOGGER!  
I have to rely on God's grace in every moment... and that is all I can do.


Thank you to all you wonderful ladies who inspired this.